An Uneducated Take: Week 1

One fans analysis of the NFL’s week that was

by Three Point Stance Contributor Zack Couch | @ZackCouch |

It’s finally here.  Week 1 is in the books and we had our feel good moments, our eye rolling moments, the moments that made us laugh, and we had our brush with what appears to be as Captain Ron calls, “voodoo, hoodoo, and all kind of weird shit.”

Welcome Home
First, to the feel good.  How great was it to see DeSean Jackson come back to Philly and be that good?  Granted, it was against Washington, but it was great to see the man behind the “New Miracle at the New Meadowlands” back with the Eagles.  Wentz and Jackson erased a 20-7 halftime deficit to take the lead in the 3rd quarter and never looked back.

Hyperbole Needs to Stop
As much as I enjoyed seeing Lamar Jackson come out and silence his critics, I feel we need to pump the brakes a bit.  Yes, it was impressive to see him put up 300+ yards with only 20 attempts.  Yes, I was happy to see him barely run the ball.  BUT IT WAS AGAINST THE DOLPHINS!  For me, the narrative coming out of this game is not how great the combo of Lamar and Hollywood could be, but how bad Miami is.  I wish it wasn’t so.  I really WANT to say that Lamar Jackson was amazing and is going to show us this for years to come, but I can’t do it.  Not yet anyway.  Also, another great takeaway from this game.  Baltimore’s fake punt when up 35-3 was just beautiful.  Sure, you could say nail in the coffin, but it felt more like putting two bullets in the skull and letting the body fall into an open grave.

Dawg Pound on Fire
Cleveland continued it woes by once again starting a season 0-1.  It was like Baker Mayfield was Bob Backlund and the Titans D were The Iron Sheik.  They slapped on the camel clutch and made him humble or it was like Baker was Conor McGregor and the Titans D were Khabib Nurmagomedov.  Either way, just a bad time had by Baker and Company.  Hopefully, it’s a learning experience for the Browns.  If not, this is going to be one long season for them.

Giant Woes
Writer Marc Bernardin said it best yesterday about the Giants-Cowboys game. “For about eight minutes, the New York Giants looked pretty great. Then there were more minutes. #sportsball”  Dak looked great. ‘Zeke looked great. The Cowboys looked great.  I want to vomit now.

Dishonor on your cow…
Bears-Packers: Just real bad.  Why?  The defenses were good, but not THAT good to explain a 10-3 final score.  Bears, why you barely run the ball?  Aaron Rodgers repeatedly said, “We got a defense.”  No, your defense went up against a team with bad play calling.  Bears, do better.

Jets-Bills: Jets did Jets things and pooped themselves in the 4th quarter.

49ers-Bucs: Just a dumpster fire contest of who can make the bigger mistake.  Fortunately for me as a Niner fan, Jameis did Jameis things.

Mike Tomlin: I was with you until you decided to take that field goal.  As Hall & Oats once said, “You’re out of touch, I’m out of time…”

Atlanta Falcons: I don’t have a joke.  I don’t have a quote.  I don’t have anything other than to ask, “Why?”

Way To Be
Jacoby Brissett impressed me in his week 1 outing.  With the game on the line, he did what he needed to do in the 4th quarter to tie the game.  He’s no Andrew Luck, but the kid showed heart.

Game of the Week
Is there even a question?  Texans-Saints MNF thriller was everything we needed from Week 1.  DeShaun Watson with the amazing two play drive to take the lead, and Bill O’Brien with the soft ass coverage to allow Brees to get the team in field goal range. All around fun game.  Way to set the bar, guys.

Voodoo, Hoodoo, and All Kind of Weird Shit
And now, for our brush with the supernatural.  I hate to tell you all this, but Satan is real, y’all. How do I know this?  There is no explanation for how the Patriots can embarrass Mike Tomlin and the Steelers like that…AND pick up Antonio Brown in the same weekend other than someone making a deal with a crossroads demon or the application of a voodoo curse.  There’s no collusion here.  This is all the will of some Dark Lord and his minions.  And with the Pats playing the Dolphins next week, who knows what will happen.  However, interesting stat, Dolphins are 5-7 against Pats since 2013, so who knows?

Look Ahead to Week 2
The Saints-Rams game on paper looks to be the game of the week, but don’t sleep on Seahawks-Steelers.  Also, Eagles-Falcons could be a whole lot of fun, assuming Atlanta has figured out its offensive troubles.  And, will the Niners-Bengals matchup be as bad as advertised?

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