Fantasy Attack: Week 14
It was fun while it lasted
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For the first time in the fifteen glorious years that I’ve been playing fantasy football, my season is over in Week 14. After winning two fantasy championships in 2018, there will be zero to my credit in 2019. Granted, the regular season still isn’t over in three of my leagues, but I’m eighth place in one and fifth place in two others, one game and over 100 points behind the fourth place teams I would need to pass in order to make the playoffs in each league. So I’ve got a whole lot of consolation bracket stuff in front of me, and there’s no reason to care about any of that.
See, when you’ve been to the mountaintop as many times as I have, there’s little reason to care about winning a fifth or a seventh place game. The only reasons I have to care about fantasy football any more this season…are you, my readers.
Don’t you feel special?
See, if you guys use my advice and do well in the playoffs, it’s just like if I had done well in the playoffs myself. That’s how close we are, fam. Let’s do this thing.
Kissin’ Kirk Cousins: Kirk’s second season in Minnesota has been a big step up from his first. 23 touchdowns, 4 interceptions, best passer rating in the league, not a lot to hate on there except the fact that he can’t win the big one. Doesn’t matter this week, the Vikings are hosting a Detroit Lions team that Cousins lit up for 337 yards & 4 touchdowns in Week 7. He might not equal that, but with Dalvin Cook banged up you can expect the Vikings to throw the ball a little bit more than usual.
DJ Moore: It’s been a rough season in Carolina, but at least Cam Newton has finally found his #1 wide receiver after all these years. Shame he can’t be out there throwing the ball to Moore & Curtis Samuel, or this team could really be getting things done and Riverboat Ron could still have a job. Sometimes teams have big games in response to a coaching change, and the Falcons secondary can still give up points even though it’s been better lately. I think Moore has a good, solid week for ya. Tough to ask for more this time of year.
DeVante Parker: Where in the world did this come from? Us Louisville fans remember Parker from the Charlie Strong years. Dude was hella talented catching the ball from Teddy Bridgewater & others, and a lot of people thought he could do something in the NFL. Then he got drafted by Miami and did nothing. There were occasional flashes for part of a game, but he sure looked like a bust up until Week 6 of this season. Since then, he leads the NFL in receiving. What happened? I don’t really know, to be honest I try and avoid watching Dolphins games because Bengals games are more than bad enough. But dude’s got the hot hand and is playing against a bad Jets team. Go for it.
Melvin Gordon: We no longer have to choose between Gordon & Austin Ekeler, as the Chargers have opted to put them out on the field at the same time more often lately & both get plenty of touches. Gotta like that. You also gotta like their chances of getting some work done against a Jags defense that’s been run over all season long. That Gordon stash play on draft day probably worked if you did it, unless you made a bunch of other bad decisions.
Jack Doyle: Andrew Luck was always looking for Jack Doyle. Jacoby Brissett looked to a lot of other people, but the Colts have reached the point where healthy ball catchers are nearly impossible to find. Doyle is one of the last ones left, and he had a pretty good outing against Tennessee last week. Most teams not quarterbacked by Nick Foles get things done against Tampa Bay, so expect the Doyle resurgence to continue. And not a moment too soon, the TE position dearly needs an option that’s still available in shallow leagues.
Patrick Mahomes: Mahomes has been a bit banged up and not looking like the 2018 version for much of this season. Fortunately, the Chiefs have plenty of talent around him & can find other ways to score. It’s been tough for most teams to score on the Patriots in 2019, and you know they’ll be PISSED OFF after that loss to Houston. If you’re in the playoffs with him you’re playing him, but it might not be a great time.
Tyler Lockett: You know what you’re getting with Lockett by now. He’s either going to get you that big play, leading to a TD & a ton of yardage, or he’s going to get you nothing. Russell Wilson hasn’t really been looking his way lately, and the Rams will probably sic Jalen Ramsey on him. So don’t expect much.
Alvin Kamara: Let’s talk about a couple of fellas that have killed some fantasy teams this year. First, there’s this guy. He was in that #1 pick conversation for good reason during preseason drafting. He’s had some really good weeks. He’s also missed a couple of weeks, and had some really pedestrian weeks. Kamara hasn’t been that RB1 that can carry you through weeks, and this week he runs into a San Francisco brick wall. Don’t look for him to help you make it over the hump.
Saquon Barkley: As frustrated as Kamara owners have been, their dismay & despair pales in comparison to those of us that used our #1 pick on Barkley. “Oh, it doesn’t matter that the Giants offense stinks”, they said. “He’s always healthy”, they said. Well, they were wrong. The Giants stink, Barkley got hurt, and people that drafted him mostly didn’t sniff the playoffs. Not that I’m bitter. Anyway, Barkley & the Giants try to run against the Eagles this week. Whatever. If I was still playing yearly fantasy next season, I’d stay far away from Saquon Barkley. NEVER AGAIN.
3 monkeyknifefight.com Sleepers
Ryan Fitzpatrick (17% owned in Yahoo! leagues): Some Fitzmagic for the playoffs? Seems interesting. He’s gone for 29 & 33 points the last two weeks. The Dolphins’ schedule the next three weeks: Jets, Giants, Bengals. If that doesn’t set a quarterback up for success, I don’t know what does. If you’re really in a pinch for whatever reason, I’d summon up some of that magic dust.
Raheem Mostert (35% owned in Yahoo! leagues): I told you about this guy having the potential to break out of the quagmire that is the 49er backfield many weeks ago. I didn’t have the patience to wait, but it eventually happened. Well, kinda. Mostert got touchdowns the last two weeks and went over 140 yards last week against the Ravens thanks to a lack of Matt Bredia. Oh, and Tevin Coleman doing nothing, as usual. Bredia might be back from his ankle injury this week, which could be an issue if you have Mostert, but frankly, if I were San Fran, I’d take it easy on Matty & let Raheem run. Why risk getting your RB1 banged up more before the playoffs, especially when RB2 can go for 140 and a touchdown?
Zach Pascal: Remember what we said about Jack Doyle earlier? The Colts are running out of people to throw the ball to. Pascal went for 90 yards last week and gets the Bucs porous secondary this week. Sounds like he’s got a chance to me.